Or if it happens like that for everyone.
Does everyone bleed?
Does it hurt so bad for everyone?
But, then again, is it so...
Amazing for everyone?
I don't think so.
Because for everyone else...
They might pick a different situation.
A different time...
And place...
And reason...
So basically, all those things and much much more influences how it felt.
But you know what I think the biggest thing was?
It was him.
How gentle he was...
How sweet...
Considerate...
Worried about me...
And admittedly nervous about it.
But the most amazing thing...
I don't regret it for a second.
Not even the slightest bit.
I don't regret lying to my mother.
I do feel kind of bad for having him lie to his.
I don't regret taking a walk that night.
I don't regret sleeping in the same bed.
I don't regret my shower the next morning.
Ok, wait,
Yes, I do regret my shower.
Because it was alone.
Haha.
There is just one thing I regret though...
Not being able to do everything he wants me to do.
I mean, I can...
I just...
It would be digging up old memories...
And I don't want to bring those two boys back into my life at this point.
But there is one thing I realized this week.
If I don't end up with Derrick in the future...
I think I just might die.
But I was right.
It did hurt.
I figured it would.
Only for a moment though.
And I don't think I'm pregnant.
Well, I'm worried.
But probably for nothing.
Ohwell.
I'll be okay.
And I guess we didn't make it to six months.
Not even close.
Ohwell, eh?
Nobody else likes it, too bad.
It's not their relationship.
I'm happy we did.
Because now I know that things aren't awkward.
Things won't change.
And we're going to make it through this, the same way we make it through everything else.
Just like everyone else.
We're going to beat the odds.
We will stay together.
Even after high school.
And college.
We're going to beat the odds.
I'm sure of it.
And it's all thanks to him.
Because of he weren't who he is...
It would never last.
Love you, Derrick.
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